Twenty.

YES ! i skipped my second goal weight completely. I'm finally back down into 101. Hopefully i can maintain that tomorrow too. Today is proving to be a little difficult though. It's the first day after fasting and since i already had some fruit my body just wants more food. I think i'm going to have a little bit of chicken and half and apple. I have to try to not give in very much. Especially when my house is filled with a bunch of snack foods and things that aren't so healthy. Like the Frosted brown sugar cinnamon pop tarts that stare at me every time i open the pantry. So far i've been able to resist them this week, but who knows about later. I really need to not binge. I finally lost some weight and i can't let that go away. I can't let myself gain too much weight. If i'm 102 tomorrow just because i ate the day after a fast i might be ok, but anything else and i'll be pissed. I've had about 500 calories so far today and i plan on not eating anymore. I have 2 hours of dance to burn that off and i'm going to walk my dog after i finish this post.

Just to waste some time i stole a survey from Vee:

Age?

16
Height?

5'4"
Weight?

101
Lowest Weight?

99 from recent times but i really don't remember from before
Highest Weight?

109
What weight do you want to weigh?

99 before school but 95 would look a lot better
What eating disorder do you have?

Anorexia

How many calories do you eat in a day, on average?

It varies a lot, but right now i'd say 400-900 usually
Do you throw up your food on occasion?

No. believe me i've tried many times, but my body won't let me
Do you want to look like a supermodel/actress?

Doesn't everyone
Are you in some sort of extracurricular sport, ie soccer or track?

Dance. It actually has taken over my life haha
Has anyone ever teased you about your weight?

yes.
Have you ever fasted? If so, for how long?

yes. i fast once a week.
Do you take laxatives to get rid of food/calories?

All the time.....
Are you 'inspired' by models/actresses?

i guess.... some of them make good thinspo
Have you ever been hospitalised for your ED?

nopee. i got stopped by friends before it got bad enough for that
Have you ever ingested Ipecac to induce vomiting?

no.
Have you ever tried to recover from your eating disorder?

yes. and i did for about a year but then i returned to it.
Do you constantly see yourself as fat, even though others say you are not?

yes. I hate when my mom says "you can eat that you're skinny"
What part of your body would you change?

i would love to just be thinner all over, but i mainly focus on my thighs and my stomach
Do you judge your value/merit solely on your weight/body?

not solely, but it does affect how i view myself
Because of your body appearance/weight, have you become severely depressed?

unfortunately, yes.
Do you constantly compare your bodies to supermodels/actresses? 

sometimes, but i usually compare mine to the people around me
Do you think you eat healthy enough? 

For the most part yes. Except for those god awful 
Are you morbidly afraid to eat carbs? 

occasionally yeah, but i give into the cravings
Fat grams? 

sometimes it plays a part in food selection, but not usually, no.
Calories? 

Very much so.
Are you often tired/fatigued? 

yeah.
Do you feel more energized after eating food? 

umm, sometimes yes. If its fast food i just feel sick though.
Do you eat meat? 

yes.
Do you eat your food in a certain way? 

Most of the time. I cut my food into tiny pieces and i count how many times i chew each bite.
Do people tell you you look sick or famished? 

yeah right. i wish. When i was 100 and 99 for a while my teacher kept asking me if i was eating and what was wrong with me.
Have you ever thrown up blood? 

nopee.
Is your heart bpm above 49? 

no idea.
Do you have fainting spells from lack of eating? 

i wish i didn't eat enough to make myself faint, but no. I've only gotten lightheaded
Do you think the media is at fault for the prevalence of eating disorders? 

I think the media is at fault for wanarexics. People who are actually anorexic or bulimic don't need the media to make them lose weight they just use the media for inspiration once they already have the disorder.
What's your opinion of Pro-Ana? 

i'm not against it. I think it could potentially make more people wanarexic or possibly make people realize that they have an ED. However, i feel that the Pro-Ana community is good for people with EDs because there is a lot of support there and people need other people who they can relate to on a certain level and you can't talk to your normal friends or other people about things like EDs.
Do you have any other mental disorders? 

Depression, terrible mood swings, and occasional anxiety.
What's your favorite food to eat? 

Wheat thins. Chocolate. Peanut butter. Cereal. Miso soup.
Favorite drink? zero calorie lifewater.
Do you often wish you didn't have an ED? 

That doesn't really bother me. I wish people didn't care if they knew that i had one or that i could weigh what i want to weigh without having an ED.
Do you want to recover? 

No, but i want to be at a place where i might be able to reach peace with my body and my mind.